Oh, for a refreshing cylinder...
Everyday I sit,
in front of a box,
inside a box,
inside a bigger box,
inside an even bigger box.
To get to my box everday,
I rise from my box,
Bathe in a box, then
I leave my night box,
ride inside a box,
take a short walk through the other boxes,
enter the bigger box,
ride the vertical box,
and then walk through the big box,
where I can wallow in the comfort of my box.
From within my box, I spend the hours trying to think outside the box.
Don't try to put me in a box, because I just won't fit.
But leave me be, and I'll probably end up there anyway.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, box to box.
The tedium.
A Love Story
Silhouetted in the light from the bathroom window
His bulk is framed by my bedroom door
Looming figure
Dark, indistinguishable features
Inspiring fear in me
I must not let him win!
“Oh, it’s you”
I try to sound casual
“What do you want?”
“You know why I’m here”
Expressionless, matter of fact
He takes a step forward, into my room
I force myself to look at him,
My body ridged, cold sweat
I close my eyes and swallow
I try to think,
but can remember nothing from before the time he entered my room
Warm, hot, gentle fingers
Tracing the outline of my face
Brushing away the hairs clinging to the damp of my skin
Burning lips pressed lightly, momentarily against my forehead
Anticipation fills the air for what seems an eternity,
but must only be a few seconds
I hear the swoosh of the heavy object in his hand
And now, there is Nothing.
the reality of the corporate world...
Why must we play this crazy game?
A beautiful 58 year-old lady was made redundant today.
28 years she worked for the same company. Somewhat shy and a little eccentric, but oh so dedicated, despite being virtually ignored by the corporate fat cats, who "run" the company by spending afternoons on the golf course.
It seems that it never occurred to anyone that it would be difficult for this woman to find another job, especially after being loyal to one company for so long...and particularly after having her self-esteem, and trust squashed beyond recognition.
These same people who, in one breath were explaining to her that it was necessary because of "cut-backs", were, in the very next breath, asking us to organize a lunch for some hob-nob 2010 Olympics person, we are trying to schmooze. "
Order something nice, perhaps a decent bottle of wine as well."
This place boasts about the sense of family in the company. About how the people pull together in a time of crisis. It's all lies.
I've always had major issues when these kind of things happen and I've always been up front in asking "WHY?"....the responses never vary:
"
That's the reality of the coporate world! You have to learn to accept that!"
"
It all comes down to money. If someone isn't proving their value, then out they go."
Again, I ask "WHY?"
Why must that be the reality?
Why is every business too gutless to change the "reality"?
Why does everyone claim to feel sad, but no-one with any power is willing to stand up and say, "
This is not right!"
I WILL NEVER BE A PART OF THIS CORPORATE REALITY. I will never accept that this is the way it has to be. I will never cease to value a person on who they are, rather than by measuring them in financial terms.
I hear some say that this attitude means that I will never be succesful in the corporate world without changing my view. I can't understand why anyone would want to be successful in the kind of corporate world....oh yes, MONEY!
I admire Ms. B. She made me laugh with her wicked sense of humour.
She shared an office with two of the bitchiest, cattiest, low-self-esteem,
must-prove-my-value-to-anyone-who-will-look-my-way middle-aged women I have ever met. She even had industrial ear-muffs which she would put on at times to just block them out. If she hasn't packed them, I'd like them so that I too can close off those repugnant bosses who complain because they get stuck in traffic, travelling from their luxurious West Vancouver homes.
Ms. B., I can only imagine how it must feel. I wish for you, that you are able to focus on this experience, not so much as betrayal, but as dumping those bastards off your back and regaining your freedom from the reality of the corporate world.
Everyone is capable of driving change...its just a matter of enough of us standing up and saying, "
No, this kind of behaviour is unacceptable." It's the whole point of a union...to reality check the corporate world.
Well Done
I've watched you
I've copied you
But I still can't cook steak like you
I have tried to get that nice pink colour in the middle
But all I end up with is "well done"
Well done, in the Garkiest manner
For ability to cook good steak
I miss it
non-locals need not apply...
I had an awesome conversation with a Vancouver friend today.
She had noted that I was the only friend she has, who did not grow up in Vancouver.
Furthermore, she expressed that it seems that Vancouver people in general, only hang out with Vancouver people...and that people who are from elsewhere (be it elsewhere in Canada, or overseas) tend to hang out with each other also, not with Vancouver born people.
This prompted me to do a mini-survey of all the people I have gotten to know since being here in Vancouver.
To qualify for counting in the survey, I need to have seen them on a social basis more than three times and have spent a decent amount of time (more than two hours) with them, by my own choice.
My personal tally (like the Olympic medal tally):
Japan 7
Calgary 3
Edmonton 2
Winnipeg 2
Halifax 2
Korea 2
Regina 1
Toronto 1
India 1
Phillipines 1
Vancouver 1
Unsure 1
Australia 0 (HA!)
To further investigate the matter, I did a survey of several people who I was in contact with today, all of whom did not grow up here. Of a total of six people I surveyed, only one had a close friend from Vancouver.
I am not done investigating this yet, but it is a little alarming that there seems to be two defined cultures in this city based on where you are from, and perhaps the two don't mix.
If I am completely wrong on this, please comment, because I'd love to know.
Vancouver people are very friendly, in that you can always find someone to help you out with directions, or start up mini-conversations with strangers, but long term aquaintences they are not...
Is it the same everywhere in the world?
Stolen from an email
Australia's National Anthem as of 10 October 2004
Australians all let us rejoice,
For we have tasted greed;
Our interest rates mean more to us,
Than mere humanity;
Our land abounds with credit cards
And John Howard took us there;
Don't stop to count as your debts mount,
Advance Australia fair!
Don't stop to count as your debts mount,
"Advance Australia fair!"
While refugees from terror sail'd,
To trace wide oceans o'er,
To Iraq with Little John we went,
To start a bloody war.
The sick, the old have all been sold,
Our children's future care;
They're all worth nowt, so rise and shout,
Advance Australia fair!
They're all worth nowt, so rise and shout,
"Advance Australia fair!"
let the rain come down...
When I stepped outside this morning, there was snow on the mountains that watch over Vancouver from the north.
I was in awe and it hit me afresh once again that I am indeed in Canada.
I've been in an introspective space over the past few days. It's not a feeling I particularly enjoy, but I know myself well enough that, within a few weeks, I will once again be inspired with positivity.
I remember the very moment that I decided to come here. It was like a cloud blew away that had been making my mind foggy with the stagnation and apathy that was plaguing my life. I sat by the ocean that morning, and I knew that Canada was where I was meant to go. My friends are bored with my account of the whales that surfaced in the ocean in front of me at that moment, but I know with all my being that they did so to confirm for me that which I was meant to do. It was like they were celebrating with me, for finding a fresh perspective on my own world.
I could use a moment like that right now.
There are numerous ideas in my head of my next destination...
Stockholm?
Kyushu?
Okinawa?
Hokkaido?
Reyjavik?
Tasmania?
I'd like to spend a year in a major city on every continent of the world.
I hate that the barrier to me fulfilling this dream is the need for money and meeting all the red-tape requirements. Money for a visa. Money to apply for a visa. Money for travel insurance. Money. Money. Money. Say it with me people... MONEY!
It's not that I expect to travel and live like a king, because my most memorable and rewarding travel experiences have been those that have had the lowest budgets and have stretched my person outside of my circle of comfort.
Who would ever imagine that I, Captain-Ultra-Play-It-Safe would even consider hitching as a legitimate way to get around? And yet this simple activity of opportunistic travel proves to me beyond any doubt that most people are inherently good, kind, trustworthy and generous. We just need to believe that people are, in order to provide them with permission to be that way. (And sure, a few people are not so great, but inevitably, they
always have a reason for being that way.)
At the same time, simple travel has proven to me that most people are apathetic about their own lives, just drifting as their world takes them, or chasing after material things...houses, food, cars, money and items of status that make people perceive them as successful.
I don't know what lies around my next corner. It's actually quite exciting and probably fortuitous that I can't stay here in Canada...simply because it is the universe forcing me to take the next steps, stopping me from falling into a state of apathy, stopping me from jumping on the career/money bandwagon that is just not for me.
Right now, I wish for myself, a whale or two, and a cold breeze to blow in my face, to sweep away the fog and make my direction clear.
Just the way we like it
The want
The need
The desire
The craving
The longing
For money
For friends
For sex
For possessions
For status
The disappointment
a three-quarters empty glass?
There are only three months left until I have to leave this amazing and wonderful place. That's a quarter of the year for which my visa allows.
I desperately want to stay.
I went to see my pimp the other day, at the temp company. The lovely, ever so schmarmy Rob, film star extrordinaire...you might remember him as the zany, eerie rabbi from the x-files. He told me that if I was to be sponsored to stay by the company I'm temping for, they'd need to pay the temp company their cut for me getting hired permanently. The pimp won't help me stay, even though I've been making him loads of cash all year, and in fact creates himself as another obstacle for me staying here.
It all should be so easy, but it's not.
So I'm slowly resigning myself to the fact that I will have to go back to OZ..."there's no place like home!"
Despite being a friend of Dorothy, I have to disagree with her. Why would you not want to stay in the Emerald City? Why go back to a place where there is little for you?
My glass is three-quarters empty today. I hope tomorrow it is one-quarter full.
cos it makes me feel good...
"Can you hear me,
Talking in my mind.
I can feel you,
You're with me all the time.
Everytime I close my eyes,
I see your face.
There's a warm sky,
covering the night.
In the darkness,
I only feel the light.
Everytime I close my eyes,
I see your face.
When I'm lonely,
your voice is in my head.
And my memory feeds my soul,
with all the things you've said.
Everytime I close my eyes,
I see your face."
-Lustral
My Country
I hate the sunburn in this country
But the weather is just one thing I’d change
I hate what’s happening to this country
I’d change the politics and politicians
I’d change stupid redneck opinions
I resent the crappy public transport system
I’d change that too
I hate the waste when our resources are so few and precious
I hate the cringe factor of seeing other Aussies being so “Aussie” in other cultures
But 5 Qantas jumbo jets, stationary on the tarmac at LAX made me smile
Made a wave of comfort of the familiar sweep over me.
As amazing as thousand year old buildings are,
As beautiful as mountain peaks and rivers formed from melted snow are
This place, this country has something that I can find no where else
Put simply, it’s my home
It is familiar, but that’s not always bad
Australia is the comfortable feeling of sliding into my very own bed after travelling for a day and a half
Australia is where my very own piece of quiet solitude is
Australia is people understanding my accent
Australia is like going home to your family;
You may not necessarily like everything about it, but it somehow feels right.
This wide brown land for me!
My country
thanksgiving mantra
I am thankful for I am alive
I am thankful for I am in Canada
I am thankful for I can see, touch, breathe, smell and taste
I am thankful for great people in my life
I am thankful for my true friends
I am thankful for a family that loves me
I am thankful for I have always had plenty
I am thankful for I have loved and been loved
I am thankful for I am me
I am thankful for I have been able to learn from my mistakes
I am thankful for the sea and the ocean, my solace
I am thankful for honey and lemons
I am thankful for the feeling that green grass under my body gives me
I am thankful for the feeling of sunshine on my skin
I am thankful for the color of the sky as the sun goes down
I am thankful for having the means to travel
I am thankful for every experience I have had
I am thankful for people that challenge me and the way I think
I am thankful for being able to read and write
I am thankful for the internet
I am thankful for music
I am thankful for people who question
I am thankful for change
I am thankful for not knowing what tomorrow brings
I am thankful
