let the rain come down...

When I stepped outside this morning, there was snow on the mountains that watch over Vancouver from the north.

I was in awe and it hit me afresh once again that I am indeed in Canada.

I've been in an introspective space over the past few days. It's not a feeling I particularly enjoy, but I know myself well enough that, within a few weeks, I will once again be inspired with positivity.

I remember the very moment that I decided to come here. It was like a cloud blew away that had been making my mind foggy with the stagnation and apathy that was plaguing my life. I sat by the ocean that morning, and I knew that Canada was where I was meant to go. My friends are bored with my account of the whales that surfaced in the ocean in front of me at that moment, but I know with all my being that they did so to confirm for me that which I was meant to do. It was like they were celebrating with me, for finding a fresh perspective on my own world.

I could use a moment like that right now.

There are numerous ideas in my head of my next destination...

Stockholm?
Kyushu?
Okinawa?
Hokkaido?
Reyjavik?
Tasmania?

I'd like to spend a year in a major city on every continent of the world.

I hate that the barrier to me fulfilling this dream is the need for money and meeting all the red-tape requirements. Money for a visa. Money to apply for a visa. Money for travel insurance. Money. Money. Money. Say it with me people... MONEY!

It's not that I expect to travel and live like a king, because my most memorable and rewarding travel experiences have been those that have had the lowest budgets and have stretched my person outside of my circle of comfort.

Who would ever imagine that I, Captain-Ultra-Play-It-Safe would even consider hitching as a legitimate way to get around? And yet this simple activity of opportunistic travel proves to me beyond any doubt that most people are inherently good, kind, trustworthy and generous. We just need to believe that people are, in order to provide them with permission to be that way. (And sure, a few people are not so great, but inevitably, they always have a reason for being that way.)

At the same time, simple travel has proven to me that most people are apathetic about their own lives, just drifting as their world takes them, or chasing after material things...houses, food, cars, money and items of status that make people perceive them as successful.

I don't know what lies around my next corner. It's actually quite exciting and probably fortuitous that I can't stay here in Canada...simply because it is the universe forcing me to take the next steps, stopping me from falling into a state of apathy, stopping me from jumping on the career/money bandwagon that is just not for me.

Right now, I wish for myself, a whale or two, and a cold breeze to blow in my face, to sweep away the fog and make my direction clear.

posted by gone2canada @ 8:28 a.m. Comments: 0