MELBOURNE TAKES FIRST STEPS TOWARDS BECOMING DARWIN

In a shock move, the controversial "Darwin-Wannabe Bill" passed through Melbourne City Council yesterday in a close vote that saw the bill passed by only one vote.

The bill, effective immediately, would initiate steps to the city of Melbourne becoming a tropical destination.

"Everyone is always complaining about Melbourne being a cold, wet place," stated one City Councillor.

Premier Bracks, in a late news conference stated that the bill's passing was "A win for Melbourne, a win for tourism, a win those who enjoy wearing hawaiian shirts, and a win for Sydney...oh, actually, forget that last bit."

Citizens noticed immediate changes with the first implementation of changed weather patterns being set up by the Beaureau of Meterology.

"Many people don't realize how advanced our technology has become," said Beaureu spokesperson and former celebrity meteorologist, Rob Gell. "Sure, we had problems predicting the weather, but we decided a different approach, by deciding the weather instead. This bill heralds a coup for our department, as we get to really make a difference," Mr. Gell said.

"Darwin is always so fortunate being 32 degrees with afternoon storms every single day. Melbourne will now have that same level of predictability." said an excited Melbourne based weather enthusiast and storm chaser. "Although they will need to raise the temperature a little before we can truly be like Darwin."

Insurance companies welcomed the news with some caution. "This move means inevitably more revenues for us, however we are concerned that we do not have sufficient loopholes in our policies in order to minimize payouts to those suffering storm damage." said one large insurance company agent. "We are confident that we can revise these policies as soon as possible to ensure minimal convenience to our customers."

Farmer's lobby groups slammed the move, stating that once again the government had forgotten their rural counterparts. "It's too wet and dry for Victorian Farmers. But once again our complaints have fallen on deaf ears, down on Spring Street."

The Liberal government plans to appeal, asking that we return to the weather experienced in teh 1950's. Prime Minister John Howard is expected to weigh in to the debate, later today.

posted by gone2canada @ 5:44 p.m. Comments: 1